Land Of The Rising Sun..

 Why is it that Monday to Friday you wake up and feel that you have just got into bed turned over and got out again? Yet come the weekend when you can justify a bit of a lay in bed you wake up at 5:30 am full of life and cant for the life of you get back to sleep?
 I have tried all the tricks like staying up late...well past 10:30pm, sometimes even until midnight!!  Does that work? No, still up at dawn.
 Going out on a Friday night drinking heavily and dancing for hours with unsuitable women. Does that work? ...No.
 Even tried the sure fire way of falling asleep, Making sweet sweet love to my laydee! Now this usually results in comatosed  sleep within 30 seconds of  "doing the deed", it has been known to occur during the sweet sweet love making. Does this work at 5:30am Sat mornings? Nope,Nada, Nothing!

Today however as I got up the sun was shining and just emerging over the trees on the horizon casting its golden glow across a frosty field. The birds were starting to clear their throats and the air was still and crisp. As I sat with the first cup of tea of the day looking at the sun inch higher and higher above the trees, its strength lifting a vapour of steam off the frosty fence I had one of those rare moments when, as the song says, you feel "happy and you know it". I always find that happiness tends to be a retrospective emotion and its only when I look back at a situation or time do I feel that I was happy. Its not that I have a lot to be unhappy about, far from it, I am blessed (sorry I sound all American) with a great family who I love very much and who love me in return, I have a home and a job that I enjoy and I have my 'elf.
 Its at these quiet times that I think of those less fortunate, those both far away and those closer to home and it make me wonder how I would cope in their situations. I only hope that I would have the strength  and will to carry on. Those that have lost every single thing, their family, their home, their livelihood and are now facing the fear once again of loosing their lives to the invisible threat of radiation. Its not just that too, their fear will live with them till the day they die, the fear of the effects of the radiation on  them and their children and their children's children.
 As I sit and watch the sun rise on a beautiful spring morning thinking of the fun things to do with my family, I wonder if there was a man on the other side of the world who only a few hours ago sat contemplating the sun rise, only he was making plans as to which area he was going to search next for the bodies of his missing family.

One Small Step, One Giant Leap.

 What have this .....

Horse Head Nebula

  And this.......

 got in common ?

Well take a look at the guy far right of the album cover and again far right of the second photo about 40 seconds in.     

 Have you got it yet?

See if this helps... check out the keyboard player with the long hair and check waistcoat and trousers

Have a look at 23 seconds, then 2min 2seconds.

Have you got it now?

ITS....

"Areet,  how's  tha  fettlin?"

 I know, Mad isn't it.

 Who would have thought it, the thinking woman's crumpet, Brian Cox, was a patchuli smelling 1980's ROCK GOD. Then went on to perform a classic anthem with D:REAM..

 Its just not fair!!

 (Still, he has got those nasty wet lips of a rapist)

If I Said You Had a Beautiful Body Would You..?

 The last post got me thinking..... who would I recruit as my Personal  Body Guards, Gaddafi style??  Hmmmmm

To The Right..

Salma Hayek

Penelope Cruz

Yamila Diaz

And to the Left...

Scarlet Johanssen

Drew Barrymore

Gwen Stefani

 I have it on good authority that if my person was under attack then these ladies can handle themselves like a bunch of  "ladettes" on a cold Saturday night in Wigan.  

BRING IT ON!!!!

Mad Tarrant!...ooops Tyrant!

 Up until a few weeks ago had you asked the "man on the street" to identify Libya,  9 out of 10 would of pointed to a ladies Naughty bits, but due to the resent up rising in the middle east then at least 7 out of 10 would point off  to somewhere in the distance. (ok maybe 2 or 3)
  There's not much we can say in favour of the harsh dictator Col Gaddafi  except that if you are going to seriously oppress your people and deny them any chance of change then at least do it with a misplaced theatrical style. Here is a man who dresses up in flowing robes that would make John Galliano blush whilst declaring that  its Drugs, Gays,Google and Western Women who have ruined his great and noble regimen. Come to think of it he may be right, you see all the worlds press seem to think he is talking about the activities of the uprising rebels but when you look at it more closely  maybe he's talking about all those "nights in" he has, smoking some weed, watching Graham Norton, trawling the internet for naked ladies and sending unwanted comments to every blog under the sun demanding we all  "BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN". Just think about it it makes sense, eh. ..... BUSTED!

 I think too that he has a fondness for Robert Palmer,  he see's himself fronting up on the "Addicted to Love" video. You know the one where the black clad beauties sway nonchalantly behind old Robo as he spews out some offensive noise.

 Yeah well old Gaddafi has his version but without the  guitars, he has dusky beauties toting sub-machine guns and a thousand ways to kill you in under ten second..

The Wahay Team!!

The real ball breakers.

 Here is the clincher... millions of you voted for Gaddafi! yes its true. Every Saturday night for weeks you all spent a pound of your hard earned cash supporting a tyrant in his bid for world domination. 

SEE I TOLD YOU SO!!

Carry On Gardening

 I hate February, Its a cold dark depressing month. The weather is always crap and having to spend the day in freezing, windy rain is just no fun. I often find that I am ankle deep in mud that sticks to your feet and makes you 4inches taller and then clings to your trousers. This then means that every time I get a brief chance to go indoors I not only have to remove boots and wet socks but trousers as well. This isnt such a big deal at home but believe me when you are working in gardens of, how can we put this delicately, women of a certain age, it raises other hazards of the job.
 Now very few of my customers are either the right side of 50 or sober, It seems that rich women start drinking Pinot G some time before breakfast and are well into their third bottle by the time they greet me with a cup of tea "with a little some thing to warm you up". Now I have worked out that its not wise to say that you can't taste the Whiskey in the tea,
 "The warming ingredient is not in the cup" .....as I have been told more than once.
Now as I am stood there in the utility room breeze blowing through my naked bottom half and steam forming on my glasses the last thing on my mind is servicing the lady of the house, a kind of erotic meals on wheels as it were. Apart from the fact that they are "not my bag", its so cold that even if I did want to "help her out" I would need a search party to "go look for the equipment"!

 So if I could I would love to just go to bed in October and wake up in March, ready and refreshed for my season ahead, ready to ward of the drunk old biddies!