I bought one of those anti-rasist armbands the other day, it cost me a pound from the Paki shop!*
No offence mate I was only joking
How many times have I heard this?
Hundreds if not thousands.
How many times have I said this?
Hundreds if not thousands.
Yet when is a joke, a quip or a "funny comment" crossing the line, becoming offensive, a means of harm?
Steve over at Bloggertropolis has posted about a passing comment by Miranda Hart on Have I Got News For You about the Royal Family that has got the chattering classes all agitated. But this raises the question of who sets the standards for what is "Funny" and what is deemed offensive.
"Ah that would be the individual that is listening to the joke", you may say. But how often we say something with no intent to harm that is taken the wrong way. Sometimes if the person that we were speaking to feels that the relationship between you is one that can take a frank and honest objection they will raise this with us and the air can be cleared, usually with an apology and no harm is done. Other times though people will just distance themselves from the person that offended them and will think twice about being in their company. Still there are those that will get filled with a righteous indignation and star shouting and hollering until all know that they have been wronged and a public apology is indeed forthcoming.
If it was deliberately meant to cause offence? If that's the case then half of the people plying their trade as comedians would find themselves out of a job. The whole "Alternative" comedy scene would find itself in litigation 99% of the time, yet people continue to frequent comedy clubs and you cant watch an evenings television without some program trying to make you laugh. Without some one being offended we would never have had such things as The Young Ones, Spitting Image or Ali G. All these received criticism at the time yet the people in question have gone on to become successful comedy institutions( Steve Coogan, Harry Enfield, Stephen Fry,Paul Merton), except Sasha Baron-Cohen who has gone on to more and more outrageous things! The thing is what causes offence now, what we find as socially acceptable now is going to be different in a very short period of time. Thankfully times move on and people that were once the rage like Roy Chubby Brown and Jim Davidson get left behind, but there will always be those ready to step into their shoes who's sole aim is to shock and offend. For example the recent comments by Frankie Boyle concerning Jordan's son.
It would seem then that we as individuals are the one that make our own mind up as to what we find funny/offensive. If we are offended by a comment in a conversation with some-one then all the dynamics of that conversation have to be taken into account. The motive, the tone, the inferred meaning, the body language even the persons background all have a baring, its the way we decode all these in a split second that really is the standard of what we find funny or not. Mis-reading these signs both on our part and on the part of others can find us labelled as blunt, offensive or spiteful. I had a friend who couldn't have a conversation without upsetting the others involved not because he was deliberately trying to offend but because he hadn't developed the social skills to be able to interact as the rest of us do, it was later labelled as autism.
If we go to a comedy club or watch on tv comedians as entertainment then surely the onus is upon us, if we are offended leave or switch them off. If we sit there fuming and saying what a rude and offensive show then we only have ourselves to blame. However there will be times when the circumstances are that we feel obliged to stand up and say something and rightly so, but if we are constantly nitpicking and complaining then the voice of reason becomes nothing more than an annoying whine and any justified meaningful complaint will be overlooked. Yes we have a voice but use it wisely.
* This was a joke told to me by a friend, I found it funny... Being mixed race and the colour of a strong cup of tea I would often get called a Paki.
6 comments:
Racism is a spectrum I guess... some dally in the shallow end out of ignorance or thoughtlessness while others deliberately and consciously plunge into the deep end for a full immersion. It's often difficult to judge people's intentions in the shallow end but for those splashing about in the deep... well, they're named and shamed very definitely by their actions.
Steve: yes indeed but its not just racism, its all the other "ism's" we come across day in day out. We have to keep putting our foot down to make sure we haven't drifted out of our depth. The point of the post really was that if a few Keep making a hooha about trivial matters, then when there really is an issue worth standing up and shouting about we will all be too jaded to pay any attention.
Thank you for your comment and welcome, I always look forwards to your posts, an alternative 'thought for the day'.
I think it all depends as well on whether or not you're laughing with the subject of the joke or making a jab at them in a derogatory and deliberately condescending manner. Part of me thinks that if you make a joke say, about a person with Down's Syndrome, then you should also, by the same reasoning, not be allowed to be offended at jokes at the expense of other minority groups, be they racist, sexist, homophobic jokes etc.
But obviously it doesn't actually work that way. I don't find stuff about racism funny because I think it's lazy, mean humour for the most part. Yet I will laugh at some other "inappropriate" stuff about midgets or retarded people even though I have absolutely no bad feelings towards either group. I think it depends how the joke is presented and the context and also the way the subject is portrayed. Anything that's purely mean, I hate. If it's done in a purely observational and light manner, it's usually ok by me.
OK now I'm more confused than when I started this comment. :)
veg: firstly welcome and thank you, its an honour to have you over. I agree with what you say, the thing with all humour is that it requires a "butt" to the joke, sometimes its others sometimes its ourselves. If we pick on one group out of malice then it is wrong no question, however humour to make a point or to make you think of something in a different way can and will push what we feel is acceptable. then there is just the plain funny like someone falling over but why is it even funnier if the person is fat? I dont know it just is.
I too found that my head got in a spin as I wrote this( you can probably tell), Its not easy explaining a chemical reaction, an emotion a feeling...its nigh-on impossible for a bloke.
By the way you got me hooked on QWOP managed a personal best of 4metres my sides still hurting from all the hilarity.
excellent post
thoughtful and funny at the same time....
my elder sister (welsh) once stopped me stopping at the roadside where three asian ladies were standing next to their broken down car
"it may be a trap" she said....
I was totally baffled with her statement and drove on
good blog! caught you through toms
Hi john,
A very big welcome to you(and the pooch), thank you for the comment.
Its crazy how we find out what our "default" settings are as regards others and that can shock us too. Even more shocking are the times when, especialy relatives, reveal through a quip or unguarded comment a facet of their ideologies that we had not seen before.
After 40 odd years I still cringe at the things my mum says and thinks are acceptable!
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